So, a few days ago, there was this link going around which had all the ladies tee-heeing. ‘Haw, Indian men’s average penis size is only 4 inches. Tee-fuckin-hee.’ I admit, its a sensitive issue if you want to tease a guy, and a sure-shot below the belt ball-buster in case you’re breaking up withan ex. I had a few problems with it, in that I absolutely refused to believe it. But before I get to that, I really didn’t get the joke from the ladies point of view. YOU’RE laughing at US? I mean, we aren’t going to put it up our ass (not that we can, I don’t care how big a cock you’ve got), you’re the ones suffering in case its true. Please, think about it (and not about a man putting his penis up his own ass, though that would be funny, I grant you). What are you going to say the next time some lady from Bulgaria (5.9 inches), Slovakia (5.9 inches), Morocco (5.9 inches) or even fucking Libya (5.4 inches) looks at you and goes, ‘Oh, you’re husband/lover’s Indian? Tch. Tch.’
Now that that’s out of the way, let’s see why I refused to believe in it in the first place. I’m an average Indian male. Average height, average weight (ok, so its a little on the heavier side, BUT I’M WORKING ON IT) and most importantly, AVERAGE PENIS. Don’t stop reading, I’m not giving out specifics. I absolutely refused to believe that what I am carrying around is such a deviation from normal that it wouldn’t be seen on a bell curve. And I’ve seen enough people pissing on the road (or shitting on the tracks or exposing themselves to a group of girls walking behind me) to realize ‘Phew, I’m normal.’
So I went a-digging. And by digging I mean, entered a simple search query in Google as per the purported source in that survey. And this might shock you, but all’s not as kosher as it seems. This news item (yes, its from ToI, where else would you find it?) sheds some more light on the issue and it says:
“The data is still being collated and analysed by the Indian Council of Medical Research (ICMR), but preliminary findings indicate that condoms available in the market are oversized. “As per international standards, most condoms are 150 mm to 180 mm in length and 44 to 56 mm in width. But data collected in Mumbai till 2001 showed that 60% of the participants measured 126 to 156 mm in length and 30% between 100 and 125 mm,” said a city researcher, pointing out that there was a difference of at least 5 cm in length.”
The article in question is for something else altogether, which I’m not discussing right now. Let’s look at the numbers shall we?
126 mm = 4.96 inches
156 mm = 6.14 inches
So that’s 60% of the population ranging between a minimum of 4.96 inches to 6.14 inches, giving an average of 5.55 inches.
Let’s look at the second part.
100 mm = 3.93 inches
125 mm = 4.92 inches
That’s another 30% of the population being between 3.93 inches to 4,92 inches, an average of 4.42 inches.
Let’s pause here a moment, the absolute minimum statistically significant measured penis/cock/dick was 3.93 inches and this buffoon puts up 4 inches as average? Note also, that Asian countries have been assigned random numbers,none greater than 4, with Pakistan highest at 4.8 inches. You know what, I’m tempted to play the racism card, but I’m just going to attribute it to stupidity. Also, most of the studies/institutes therein are fake.
Right, so if you’re an Indian lady, what average penis size can you expect? An extremely shoddy working gives me this:
[(0.6*5.55)+(0.3*4.42)] / (0.6+0.3) = 5.17 inches.
(Edit: Earlier calculation incorrect by my reckoning. Given at the end of post. I’m confused, help me?)
Also note that the data collected is only from Mumbai, so again we aren’t considering the Pakistani influence (4.8 inches) on the North or the Sri Lankan influence (4.3 inches) on the south.
That is 29% more than what you bargained for ladies. 29 fuckin percent. Also, it crosses the psychologically important 5-inch mark.
I’m not going to end this with the usual drivel that size doesn’t matter. It fuckin does, that’s why we make such a big deal out of it. This survey also focuses solely on length, not on girth which is an equally important measure in any dick-size related study. But size isn’t the only thing and that’s where the small guys have their opening. How? By something that’s quite close to my heart and which should be the subject of my next post.
I sound like a sorry ass, don’t I? But this wasn’t for you, ladies. This was for the guys. Next time you fucking come up to me and tell me, “I’m bigger than average <smirk>” , I can’t wait to tear you down.
P.S.: Post has been slightly edited. Earlier working had the average at 4.65 inches via this: (0.6*5.55)+(0.3*4.42) = 4.65 . Please let me know which is the correct one, I was never the greatest at statistics.
I suddenly feel very very big. i should show my girlfreind this pristine work of statistics
ICMR couldnt find its ass under the supermoon, let alone measure men properly.
Haha. Glad to help in any way I could
I am only going to leave you a recommendation – possibly the most important thing an Indian author has published in the last 50 years. And oh, highly hilarious. I happen to personally know this author, who is a certified sexologist (met over an an interview long long ago) and I haven’t met a more sensible and witty man ever since.
Sexx is not a four letter word – Sudhakar Krishnamurti
http://www.flipkart.com/sexx-not-four-letter-worlds-book-8129110741
And oh, i want to also tell u that flipkart, which i otherwise adore, has managed to misspell the word ‘word’.
I shall order it ASAP madam. I think after reading that I’ll get an idea of what you’re trying to say. Oh, and I’m loving the Sindhu stories.
Fuck. You used maths. Fuck. This is so not acceptable.
N
erm…sorry?
i hate maths. it freaks me out.
but nevermind. I was joking 
Also, there are no small penises, only loose vaginas.
now if i’d come up with a line like that, I wouldn’t have had to go through all this writing now, would I?
Oh well hello first.
A very, erm, different subject to write on but you’ve written well and frankly, I liked it.
I see how the matter can be sensitive and any guy I’ve pointed this article towards has a little bit of bruised ego, well what to say?
Now really the thing where it states the difference between Indians and the pakistani’s is a little bit too much I feel and *sometimes* having an averaged sized penis does have its advantages, for once you can’t boast around telling that you’re huge and you’re good in bed, the average ones work on it and score better than them actually.
And no, The average Indian penis size isn’t 4. I can assure, for sure.
Most of my friends will bet their belongings to assure that.
Nice post =)
- Scribbledpage.
Hello back.
First, you leave a beautiful comment. Do come back and see some of our other attractions sometimes, yes?
Second, I feel that the men who *work hard* on their technique solely based on their perception that they have an average penis simply do not give a more fulfilling experience. Of course, I have no personal experience of the same, but how can they? The passion, the mad urge to simply satisfy and sate a woman as equally has to come first from within. Until then, something would be missing no?
Third, your assurance sounds naughty
. Care to elaborate?
Oh god, I sound so weird.
No you don’t
oh oh one more
It’s not the size of the ship, its the motion in the ocean
fucklulz!
yes, fucklulz! precisely
Aye, foobar, Nice ones! 8)
Penile envy and length comparisons are irksome.
Scribbledpage does make a good point when she says that the average ones are better in bed thanks to a dedication to making up in technique where length has passed them over.
And of course, you are right when you say that passion plays a large part too. But then again, passion is a given thing when you are having consensual sex.
Personally, long penises hurt and when the man concerned has no idea what he’s doing, doubly so. Oh sure, if you are well-lubricated it shouldn’t be a problem for the woman. But even then, it takes time adjusting. When you are looking for a quick roll in the sack, comfort and time are the last things on your minds, and well… see what I mean?
The average-sized ones do, in the end have it better in bed and out of it.
Incidentally, whenever I come across a woman telling me she likes big schlongs, I immediately look at her crotch and then carefully observe her for any signs of dementia for the next few minutes.
HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHA…
Can I stop laughing?
No wait, HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHA….
That last line is the funniest I’ve read in some time..
HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA….
oh my, i cannot, will not stop laughing at what the Ranee just said
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