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Archive for October, 2010

A little about Day 3

So about that  43 day thing, I’ve attempted it twice before, winning once and losing once. Of course the fight is never external, it is always within. Let’s see what happens this time.

The first two-three days are a little tough. At around the usual time, your hands start going inside your pants. If you’re watching porn, you remember that there’s basically no point to it. Not like I’m watching it for the storyline. Of course, it helps in the spring cleaning of your disk because you can get to the latter half of some of the longer videos, see if you want them taking up all that space and remove the ones you don’t like.

But a more pleasant side effect that I’ve had, is the recurrence of those naughty dreams. Its also a lesson in understanding my body better,  I suppose. But this was around the third day, 17th Oct, that I had the first of those two dreams. It was strange, slightly unsettling and the first time I’ve remembered a dream in a long time. For some godforsaken reason, I was a rebel against a Korean warlord, in his city.  Don’t ask me how I know it was Korean, and not Vietnamese or Malaysian; its my dream and I know. I also had a  female partner. She wore a white kimono all throughout. And I remember in my dream, I was running, along with my partner, trying to escape from the warlord’s soldiers. Strangely, we were running amongst highrises, although I’m pretty sure my dream was set in an ancient or at least medieval time. Finally, at a  corner in the street, we are surrounded by soldiers, and caught.

Cut to a sterile white room, where there is a white table, along with a few benches for sitting down. Both of us are in the room, along with the warlord. There are a couple of soldiers, all three are armed with swords. I am naked, my partner is not. She is still wearing the white kimono. There is some verbal lashing by the warlord, after which I gather he is about to rape my partner. I look on helplessly, but we’re both beaten in the dream. Beaten, as in not physically, but as if we’d both been struggling for a higher cause, but which we now know will never come to pass. She drops her clothes with nary a protest, and I see that the warlord is already on the table, lying on his back. Now that I think of it, that was a little strange. You don’t normally rape lying on your back. But that’s not all, she quietly goes to him and climbs on top. He enters her, and starts fucking, but he isn’t satisfied. This isn’t degrading enough for him. He asks me to come from behind and fuck her in the ass. At first  I refuse, but we’re pretty much down here, so I go and stand behind her and my cock just refuses to rise. I’m also crying at this point, I believe. But I move closer to her and her butt cheeks start brushing against my cock; she’s magically naked now. Slowly, unsure, my cock becomes erect. I enter her and start fucking her asshole, deriving pleasure, taking care that my penis never brushes against the warlord’s. He comes first, and for some reason that makes me laugh. I’m still a defiant rebel, or what little part of that persona left in me still is. I pull out along with him, making sure he sees my proud, erect cock against his spent, flaccid one. As is to be expected, the warlord gets pissed again. He makes me bend on all fours, my cock still erect, puts his sword against my neck, orders me to close my eyes, and promises me that the next time I open them, he will behead me. He promises me he will wait an eternity if necessary, but the next time I open my eyes will be the last. I wait, and wait, and everything goes silent, and I’m conflicted. Do I open my eyes, do  I not, is he still there? I say fuck it, and open my eyes to the warm Indian morning. My heart is still beating wildly though.

Hmmm, nothing much was naughty in there, was it? Except for the threesome, which was pretty awesome in my head while it lasted.

This of course, is nothing, compared to what I had the following night, but that one requires a much more detailed and loving expression. More to come, soon. Keep watching this space. Oh, and if anyone wants to psychoanalyze, please feel free to do so in the comments. I’d love to know what goes on in my fucked-up head.

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43 Days

14th October – 26th November

No Intercourse. No Oral sex. No Masturbation.

Will I make it?

Let’s find out.

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Her shoulders were sweaty. I could see that from the back. No way to undress her in public. Good thing she wore a miniskirt.

She had curly dark hair. She slammed me against the wall with her back, and unzipped me. She never turned around. Good thing I got the last possible seats in the house.

She pulled me in and guided me inside. She reached behind and gave just one slap on my ass, ‘Go’. Good thing I don’t need more prompting.

She squeezed her legs as hard as she could, entrapping me. I thought my penis would break. Good thing she was so wet.

She gave a loud scream. And came. And stopped. Truth be told, I don’t even know whether I was fully inside. Good thing I didn’t care.

She pulled me out, and started walking away. But I wasn’t done yet, and tried to pull her back. She turned around, and I caught a half-sneer, before the pepper spray hit my eye. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Good thing I’m a guy.

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From whence I came…

When I started, I didn’t care. And then, I did.

I didn’t start to put up butt pics. I didn’t start to put up boob pics.

I wanted to be honest, open. And I was.

I started, to get away. I did. And somehow, it pulled me back in.

Those who do not learn from the mistakes of the past are condemned to repeat it.

Remember boy. Remember from whence you came…

(And I had to get that god-awful ass out of first-post-on-page status)

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