Archive for December, 2010

If you manage to look beyond (or just don’t give a fuck about) all the ideology and nationalism shit, then there’s a reasonable chance that you’ll agree with me when I say that Arundhati Roy is one hot cougar. And also when I say that it’d be damn nigh impossible for a sane human male to get his fucking dick up if he ever managed to get her into bed.

Now lets not get too far ahead of ourselves. There are obviously only two type of people who ever have a shot with her. Either you would have to be a ‘little guy’ who has been oppressed or dominated over by the system, or else a giant towering, quivering mass of such intellectual ferocity that you’d blow Ms. Roy away,  but still be unrecognized, unpublished and generally un-famous. Again, a combination of the two and she might never let you go.

A word of caution: Now that you’ve managed to get Ms. Roy into bed, pause. Think. This is a woman who can write a 30,000 word essay on one bad move you make. Do you know the perfect amount of foreplay that is required? Really, you think you do? Good for you. I’m sure she’s not documenting all of this in her pretty little head. Do you know if all parts of her body are in harmony with each other? Do you know if her right breast even wants to be in the same country as her left breast? What if her nipples want Azadi? Are you man enough to stop the flow of the bursting dam from her vagina? Not so bloody sure now, are you?

Think man, before you get sucked into sucking on those surprisingly perky tits. Or those kohl-lined eyes. You’re in trouble, you just don’t know it yet. You might think of it as just a one-night stand, but consider that all her earlier one-night stands have gotten international press. Are you ready for a worldwide 10-point font examination of your manhood?

Didn’t think so motherfucker…

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